I have a few minutes of spare time, so I thought I'd share a little update on how things are going here in Harrisonburg...
Billy and I really like Harrisonburg. I'm glad we live here, and thankful for the fact that it hasn't been a huge transition or change from what we're used to. His schedule is very similar to when he was in school, my daily routine is pretty much the same, and the folks in this city are so nice (at least so far!). I am, however, starting to feel a little lonely.
I'm trying to go out and participate in activities, which is really outside my comfort zone. I went to a MOPS meeting recently, which was a great experience and I'll definitely be going back. The women I met there were so kind and supportive, and it was very encouraging to be around other moms. Ellie seemed to enjoy playing in the nursery while I was in the meeting, so it gave her a change of scenery, too.
Since I had an enjoyable time at the MOPS group, I thought I would try something else this week: story time at the library. They have a program for children in the 0-3 years age group, so I figured it would be okay for Ellie. I even asked a librarian before going in what the format was like and how long it would last, since I know Ellie can't sit still for a very long period of time. She said it would be fine, that there are plenty of young children who don't sit still, so I figured it would be okay. And in the grand scheme of things, Ellie did really well considering she's never been in an environment like that, with other children AND mommies sitting on the floor listening to a story or singing songs. We do that together here at home, but it's only the two of us and usually lasts about 5 minutes. Anyway, she did well...but we had a few "iffy" moments...and....well, I cried on the way home from the library. Silly, I know.
I hate to admit this, especially since I *try* to be a "relaxed" mom who doesn't freak out over things, but I'm one of those moms who gets embarrassed in public. I try not to let it get to me, but after a while it's hard to just shrug it off when your kid is screaming bloody murder in Target because you took her empty snack cup away. And the hard part about it is that in order to be consistent and set boundaries for Ellie, it means that we HAVE to go through those moments in public. One thing I'm resolved to do as a parent is follow through with my child. If I've set a boundary or rule, it doesn't mean that we chuck it out the window just because there are 150 people glaring at me in the store....exaggerated, I know....it's probably more like 3 people glaring at me, haha.
So during story time, Ellie started to get tired of sitting in my lap. I let her sit on the floor in front of me for a few minutes, and then she was over that and wanted to get up and start playing (a completely understandable desire for a 1 and 1/2 year old!). But I want her to learn that there are times when we have to sit still, and if Mommy tells you to stay seated, you should obey. Of course, this isn't something we've really had to face before, since we've never participated in a structured play group like that. She became upset and threw herself on the ground, crying and carrying on in front of 10 other moms and their respective kids. Needless to say, I let my embarrassment dominate my mind in that moment, and I had a brief moment of "maybe I should just let her go....?" But I knew that if I gave in this one time, we would never be able to establish any consistency if we return to story time. And so I persevered and told Ellie that she had to stay seated (or at least stay in her spot). She made it through story time, but had "the fits" at least 2 or 3 times.
I guess the reason I cried on the way home is because I miss having someone I know with me. Back in Lynchburg, I totally would have gone with Laura and Adin...and if Ellie threw a fit, I could look at Laura and know that she wasn't judging me for being firm, because she understands me, Ellie, and my parenting goals. It made me really miss having a friend who knows me. Because all I could think about during the rest of story time was what the other moms thought of me and my child, and what a mean and uncompromising mom I must be and how my child is a psycho. I doubt they really had those thoughts (they were probably just trying to get their kids through story time, too!) but in my self-centered head I think everybody is watching me.
Thankfully, we had some great highlights from story time, too. When we started singing "Old McDonald," Ellie burst into hysterical laughter...like the kind you see on YouTube videos when you can't tell if they're laughing or crying. And the laughing went on *for the whole song.* I appreciated that everyone else found it amusing, too (I was kind of anticipating some weird looks from other parents, especially since their kids were just barely singing along, and Ellie's in my lap with a beet-red face switching back and forth between laughing uncontrollably and trying to sing along by saying "ee-oh" over and over). She also really loved getting to hold her own set of bells and jingling them during the songs, and the free playtime at the end was a big hit with her, too. We'll definitely go back next week, and overall I would rate it a positive experience, but it also served as a reminder that I don't quite fit in here yet.
We have had beautiful weather this week, and it's been wonderful to go outside and play a little. We have a large children's playground just a couple miles from our house, and so we've been there twice in the past two days. On Tuesday morning, Ellie played for a whole hour at the playground, which was a much-needed break from our staying at home all the time. Yesterday afternoon, I met up with a few ladies from the MOPS group which was also very nice, but the playground is so huge that it doesn't work well for adult-chat time, especially since my child is basically all over the place. I'm trying to give Ellie a little more independence on the playground and not hover behind her constantly, but it's so hard! I fear that she'll leap off the playground set and break her leg, or tumble down the slide and hurt herself, but she's actually a very capable climber (thanks to two flights of stairs in our house) and manages the slide pretty well on her own. It's really more of a fear issue for me, and I know I just need to take a step back and be less physically involved and more watchful of her. Also, it would be really hard for me to climb on the playground with her once Piper gets here, so the sooner I give her more freedom the better, I think. I'm so sore from the past two days at the park, so today I'm taking it easy and not really doing anything physically demanding.
My appointment at the new OBGYN office is Monday, and I'm so ready to get that over with! I've heard so many positive things about that practice (a ton of the moms from the MOPS group went there) which has been a huge encouragement to me. I'm really more excited about it than nervous now, although of course I have a zillion questions given my previous birth experience.
And on a totally random side note, I have decided that once I use what I already have, I will NOT be buying any more cleaning solutions (other than maybe toilet bowl cleaner...unless I find a really fantastic do-it-yourself version online). This isn't because I want to go all natural or "green," but really just because it's another way to save money (the "greenness" is an added bonus). Why buy all-purpose kitchen spray and Clorox wipes when I can use vinegar instead? I found a tub and shower cleaner made from vinegar and Dawn dish soap , which seems to have great reviews. I figured it's worth a shot, and if I already have the ingredients on hand, why not try it? I'm all about doing things myself if it saves money. I'm all for less chemicals and saving the planet and all that, but (I'm just being honest) I'm not going to do it if it costs an arm and a leg. Laundry detergent is a great example...I make my own, not because it's safer or less harmful to the environment, but because it's a HUGE way to save money. But the less-chemicals aspect of making my own detergent is an added benefit. And I really do hate the smell of cleaning solution...even the scented kind bothers me. I already have a ton of vinegar, and I would save some money, so I think it's worth it to at least try.
That's all of my ramblings today...I'll try to update next week after my doctor's appointment!
No comments:
Post a Comment