I'm sitting here in my pajamas being lazy, so I thought I would update. I actually started to write a post earlier, and then thought it was pointless because I had nothing to talk about, so I deleted it....now I'm starting again.
We had a pretty good weekend. Billy had a very long work week (6 days in a row), so Sunday was a much needed break, although we were very busy. We went to lunch with the Moizes....Laura doesn't even look like she had a baby lol. She looks so put together and she's in great shape...I definitely did not look like that when my baby was a week old. Actually, I had just been released from the hospital at that point and I looked like crap for the first month of her life lol. Anyway, I'm so glad they are doing well! We're taking dinner to them tonight...King's Island takeout! Love that place. I kinda feel bad I'm not cooking, but I know I would be a lot less stressed if we just got takeout...and we all love King's Island so it's all good. I think I will try to make homemade peppermint oreos and take those over. I found a recipe online, and even if they don't taste like oreos, they look really good so I think I'll give it a try. I'll let you know how they turn out!
Back to Sunday. So after we had lunch, we went to get family photos done for Christmas. I was SO stressed about getting them done. We had a good friend of ours, Rebekah Brown, do them. I've seen some of her other work on Facebook and she does a great job and has a great quality camera. I didn't doubt her abilities, but I was afraid that either 1) Ellie would be cranky; 2) Ellie would spit up all over her outfit; or 3) I would look terrible. Having a baby doesn't exactly boost your self esteem when it comes to the way you look, and that's something I've struggled with even before pregnancy. It sounds vain, but I was so afraid I would look fat and have a double chin in the photos. We went up to the lodge at the Snowflex at Liberty, and it was a perfect setting. We like the rustic country look anyway, and the lodge was just perfect. There was hardly anyone there, and it was a beautiful sunny day, and it turned out great. Ellie went for a full 45 minutes without complaining....and she didn't spit up at all! She did drool a lot, but at least drool is clear and doesn't stain clothes! Rebekah put a few photos on Facebook, and they came out great! I am so excited....I'm going to order photo Christmas cards this year with one of the pics.
After the photo session, we went to Roanoke to help Billy's mom finish moving in to her new house. She closed on the house a week ago, moved in most of the stuff on Saturday, but still had a few things to do on Sunday. We hadn't seen her house yet, so we went down to try to help out where we could. Her house is adorable! It's a cute 3 bedroom, 1 and 1/2 bath ranch style house. The full bathroom is purple, but it's actually a very cute purple. And it's unique. I'm just so happy for her that she found a new house and she can get a fresh start, and her neighborhood seems very nice and quiet. And the best thing is that she's now in the same area as the rest of the family. Billy's sister, Becky, lives less than 2 minutes away, and my dad, Nana, and Granny live really close, too.
I've been sitting here this morning thinking about the future. Ever since I met Billy, his career plans have always been up in the air. It's not that he isn't ambitious; he has MANY goals and things he wants to do with his life. He just can't seem to pinpoint something specific. It's hard for me to understand because I've always been the type of person who picks something and sticks with it for a while. I did want to be a psychologist for a while (a few years) until I felt God's call on my life to be a teacher. God called me to the field of education in 2005, and I've been on that path since then. Billy, on the other hand, spent most of his life wanting to be a pilot, then decided that wasn't the most family-friendly job, and then went toward a ministerial career. He spent some time thinking about and studying youth ministry, then talked about becoming a missionary, then a business manager, then a financial manager/adviser....the list goes on. And in between those, he's considered everything from being a high school teacher to a computer technician. I think the problem for him is that he's good at many different things. For me, I'm good at one thing: being a student. It's really the only thing I excel at. Therefore, teaching isn't a far stretch for me, because committing to being a teacher means that your job will revolve around school. Billy is multi-talented. He has a great understanding of finances and money management, he's a leader, he's computer-savvy (enough to be dangerous, as he puts it), he has a heart for ministry, he works well with his hands, and he loves transportation and technology. It's kinda hard to blend all of those things into one career. It's very important to him that he loves whatever he does. It's really not enough for him to just be able to pay the bills. Part of his satisfaction with his life comes from the feeling that he loves his job and that he's doing something worthwhile. I can understand that. With teaching, I know I have the satisfaction of educating young students in the best ways I can and providing them with the best foundation I can give. I want Billy to love his job. I know it's something that would make him happy and would fulfill him.
He's been thinking about getting his A&P license to be an aircraft mechanic. I really think he would love to do that. The problem is getting to that point. It takes a year of schooling for him to get his license, and it's a full time job without pay (8-5, 5 days a week). That means that I would have to be working in order for him to do this, and that won't start until August of 2011 (if I find a teaching position). That means he won't be done until the end of 2012, which is 2 years away. He's already gotten an Associate's degree in business management, and is almost done with his Bachelor's in business finance. He would get another Associate's degree from completing this program. And it's expensive. We've discussed it and have agreed that we will take out loans to complete his education if that's the route he takes. To me, it's worth going into debt for him to be able to do what he loves. It's not something I would go out and tell other people to do; it's just what works for our family and what we've agreed on. Plus, I only owe roughly $2,000 in student loans, and Billy doesn't have a whole lot more than that. I think the problem for me is time. I want him to get started on his dream now, while it's still fresh. I guess I'm afraid that if he waits for another year, the dream will be dead and he'll be on to something else or have no clue what he wants to do. At least right now he has a goal. I want him to be able to go out and get it. I was able to immediately go after my goals and achieve them in the appropriate amount of time. Billy worked full time after we got married so that I could finish my degree on time, and the agreement was that I would start working full time for him to finish his degree. Ellie came along, and so that didn't work out the way we thought it would. He has other ideas about getting his license, but I'm almost afraid to put them on here because I don't want my family to freak out....not even sure that they'll read this, so maybe I will go ahead and divulge. He's talked about joining the Coast Guard. That way he could get his license and have a job without a lot of down time in between. The more I think about it, the more open I am to the idea. I always told him from the beginning of our relationship that there are two things he's not allowed to do: 1) become a pilot and 2) join the armed forces. I can't deal with the time he would be away in those two fields. I am a very needy wife lol. I need my husband home every day and I need the companionship. I don't do well by myself. He has been quick to remind me that the Coast Guard does not fall in either of those categories, so it's not part of the banned careers lol. I don't know....there's a lot to think about no matter what he ends up doing with his life.
My whole life I have been a planner. I thought I was going to be a psychologist, and God totally changed my heart one day and completely took that desire away from me, replacing it with teaching. I thought we were going to move to Blacksburg for Billy to go to VA Tech, and then we prayed about it for a week (without discussing it) and both came to the conclusion that it wasn't God's will. I thought I was going to find a teaching job for the 2010-2011 school year, and then we got pregnant. God has taught me over and over that my plans aren't good enough. I've finally learned after so long that I shouldn't try to plan my life, but instead let Him decide where I go and what I do. It's so hard to be open to that sometimes, especially because I want to know right now. I know I just need to let go and be excited about the future....we have no clue what we're doing, and it's the only time in our lives when this has really happened. Instead of being frightened or stressed about it, we just need to embrace the "not knowing." God isn't going to let us die in a hole somewhere....He's just preparing us for whatever is out there in the future. I don't yet understand what God has planned for us....our prayer is that He will guide us in that direction and that we will accept it regardless of how hard it will be.
Blessings....Kristen
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