Musings from Calm My Anxious Heart

I mentioned in my last blog post that I've started a book called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I'm a little over halfway through the book right now and thought I would share about what I'm learning while I'm reading.

First of all, I have to say that I like this book a WHOLE lot more than I thought I would.  I typically avoid reading non-fiction books, mainly because I think they're boring and I usually come away feeling like I need to change everything about my life.  While this book is definitely giving me a lot to think about (and work on!), I don't feel like a complete failure...instead, I think I'm now a little more equipped to handle some of my anxiety issues.  Dillow recognizes that almost ALL women worry about something (so I'm not alone!) and that it IS a sin to have anxiety.  Before reading this book, I don't think I truly recognized anxiety as a sin...I just kind of saw it as something I have and don't know how to deal with sometimes.  The author cites Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-34 as clear scriptural evidence that worry and anxiety are sinful.  She dispels the myth that worrying about things makes you a better person/parent/friend.  I'm so guilty of rationalizing my worries and telling myself that it's "natural" to worry about things I have no control over.  Great example from this week...

First, I'll mention that the Internet can be a great thing...but it can also become a source for anxiety.  I came across a blog earlier this week written by a single mom of a little boy with a very rare genetic skin disorder.  She had a perfectly normal, healthy pregnancy and birth, then came to find out in the hospital after her baby was born that he had this terrible disease that caused his skin to erupt in blisters anytime he was rubbed or touched by something rough.  I continued to read on her blog about all the trials they've gone through, about her hope in Christ, and how her little 2 year old boy has slowly deteriorated due to his disease and that one day it would take his life.  I was just thinking how powerful that story was...and then I came across her most recent post that was just written on Saturday.  Her little boy died shortly after waking up Saturday morning...in her arms.

After reading all of this, I just cried and cried.  I'm crying right now as I'm remembering the story.  Yes, maybe it's because I'm extremely hormonal right now, but it doesn't change the fact that this is such a powerful and heartbreaking story.  After I calmed myself down, I started thinking about Piper (our baby due in April).  I thought about what it would be like to not know that she had some crazy genetic disorder, and then to find out after she was born and somehow learn to cope and help her as much as I could.  And then for her to die later in life...the point is, I lost all ability to think clearly at that point.  I became paranoid, worried, and anxious that Piper had something wrong with her and I didn't know about it.  I could feel the stress building up and my thoughts were consumed with worry and guilt about something that wasn't even TRUE for us.

I realized then how desperately I needed to read this book.  I've come to recognize that almost everything I worry about has to do with the future...and 80% of it is outside of my control.  Sure, I can take care of some things, like when I worried about finding a new OBGYN here in Harrisonburg.  I finally decided one day that I was going to stop fretting about my new doctor and just call and get one.  And you know what?  After I called the office and got an appointment set up, I felt SO much better.  I'm still a little nervous about how it will go, if I'll like the new doctor, etc., but I'm not worried about it anymore because I've done what I can.  On the other hand, me worrying about things like Piper having some horrible genetic disorder when she's born or Ellie not knowing Christ when she gets older....those things really aren't in my hands.  Yes, I can be healthy while I'm pregnant and teach Ellie about Jesus, but it's not up to me if my children will know Christ or have perfect health....it's up to God.

One last nugget of truth that I've gleaned from this book has to do with our anxiety over our season of life, or more specifically our "roles" in life.  In chapter 4, Dillow discusses how often we experience stress and anxiety over where we are in life.  She gives this example (paraphrased by me):

The teenager wants to be an adult so she can do what she wants;
The single woman (who can do whatever she wants) wants to get married;
The married woman (who now has her husband she so desperately wanted) wants to have kids;
The mother (who now has the children she longed for) wants her kids to grow up so she can have her life back;
The mother whose children have grown up wishes they were young again....

And the cycle just keeps going (and can be applied in so many other ways, whether it has to do with wanting more money, a better house, more freedom, etc.)  I'm definitely guilty of this one.  Looking back through the different seasons of life I've gone through, I've always wanted to be in the next season.  When I was single, I wanted to get married.  Once I got married, I wanted to have kids.  Now that I have Ellie, I've wished that she would grow into the next phase of her life so that things would be "easier" (but they never are easier!).  Dillow talks about having contentment with the season of life you're in and seeing it as your "assigned role" instead of just something you have to go through to get where you want to be.  My assigned role right now is to be a mom to a toddler, and I have to find joy and contentment in this role instead of wishing for something else.  This chapter really convicted me and has changed my perspective a little on how I go through the day, what my inner thoughts and motivations are.  Granted, it's still hard and frustrating sometimes when Ellie is throwing her fifth temper tantrum of the day or when she won't nap longer than 45 minutes....but that's not every day, and it helps to remind myself that this is all part of my God-given job and that Ellie is learning as we go along.

I would highly recommend this book, especially if you have struggles with anxiety.  It serves as a great reminder that there is no quick fix to finding contentment and getting over anxiety...it's a daily choice that has to be made to think positively and allow the One who IS in control to do His work for His glory.

Lots of Changes: An Update on the Ephraims

Aaaand...again, it's been way too long since my last post.  I think sometimes I run out of interesting things to talk about.  Not that this blog is out to accomplish anything in particular, except maybe to keep me sane while I spend most of my days home alone with a little squirt.  So I'll give an update on where we are now, since a lot has changed since my last post!  And hopefully I'll be doing some interesting things in the future, and can share them on here...

For starters, we are expecting another baby girl!  Piper Josephine will be here sometime in April, so I have about 3 months to get myself together and mentally prepare as much as I can for the craziness of having two children.  My pregnancy is going well so far, although I still have my moments of fear.  I have to constantly remind myself to give this situation up to God and allow Him to be in control of whatever happens...and (gulp) I have to accept the outcome as His will.  In retrospect, the situation with Ellie was a completely God-glorifying moment in my life.  He used me (and Ellie) for a greater purpose, and I'm thankful I can see that now.  So I'm trusting that whatever happens with this little one is for a purpose.  Easier said than done...

Another big change for us is that we've moved to Harrisonburg, VA.  Billy got a job with Dynamic Aviation (praise God!) and he's loving it so far.  We are blown away by God's provision for us in the past month and a half.  Billy's story of getting hired is pretty amazing.  Back in November, he had a preliminary recruiting interview with Dynamic.  They came to Liberty to hire some A&Ps, and Billy went ahead and signed up for an interview.  That was on Tuesday.  Wednesday he got a call from them saying they wanted to do a second interview at their facility in Bridgewater, VA.  Thursday he drove 2 hours with a friend (who was also interviewing) and had his second interview and a tour of the facility.  And Friday he got a job offer.  It was such a whirlwind, we were completely surprised and amazed at how quickly things happened.  And what's even more interesting...the next day, Saturday, he got a job offer from a place in Anchorage, Alaska.  We had a hard time deciding between the two...but eventually came to a mutual agreement that Dynamic would be the best situation for us.  And we are SO glad we came here!  We are settled into our new home and really enjoying Harrisonburg so far.  It's a college town, so there are TONS of students here.  It reminds me a little of Lynchburg because we have several colleges in the area...JMU, Bridgewater, Eastern Mennonite University, etc.  The population is quite a bit smaller here than in Lynchburg, with a larger influx of students (compared to Lynchburg) during the school year.  It's an interesting thing to observe.  We've found a church that we really like...it's smaller than what we're used to in Lynchburg, and it's a church plant, with the original intention of serving the university community.  It's kinda morphed into a college and family church, with a diverse group of people in attendance.  Anyway, it's doctrinally sound and we feel very welcome there.  Hoping to join a small group in the future and get to know some people!

Billy has adjusted really well to his work routine.  He gets up super early in the morning (5:30 is EXTREMELY early for us...) and works 7-4.  We're usually in bed by 10 every night.  Last night, Billy observed that we have truly turned into "old people."  We're both exhausted by the time Ellie goes to bed at 8, and we have about an hour and a half to just chill and relax together and then we shuffle (slowly) up the stairs and collapse into bed.  But we're loving this new phase of our lives!

Ellie has also adjusted pretty well to the new house...she has much more freedom and space to explore on the main level of our townhouse, and she has learned about the new boundaries we've put in place, such as not getting on the stairs unless we're with her and not getting into the kitchen cabinets.  The noise level here is much quieter than our old neighborhood, so we're very thankful for that.

I think I've completely adjusted to living here, although I'm using the navigation system on my phone quite a bit to go places like the library and post office.  Although, I'm slowly learning this new town.  I've already gotten back into the swing of weekly grocery shopping (so glad we still have Kroger!).  There's a store here I've never heard of until moving called Martin's.  We drove past it one day and I thought the place looked kinda crusty on the outside.  We decided to check it out one day because I had found some deals blogs that featured the Martin's ad and saw a couple things that were on sale that would be worth going for.  And we went in and my mind was blown.  It is a HUGE grocery store...with a cafe, and a place to order food....it was SO nice.  It was also jam-packed with people...apparently that's where everyone likes to shop.  It reminded me a lot of Ukrop's, except that the prices were decent and the sale prices were actually really good.  Needless to say, I will be keeping an eye on the Martin's ad for good deals from now on.  We also have Rite Aid here, which is new to me, but I haven't really explored the Rite Aid method of shopping/couponing much since I'm so used to shopping at CVS.  I've had my bouts of loneliness and boredom every now and then...I remember in Lynchburg going out almost every day, whether it was to visit Laura and Adin or just run to Target to kill some time.  Here, I barely leave the house.  I'm not sure if it's because it's a new place, or I don't know anyone, or the cold weather, or I'm just getting lazy...but I have very little motivation to leave the house.  It's not bad, though, just different for me.

I have resolved, however, to start doing some little projects to stay busy.  First, I branched out and bought a bunch of new books to read (from authors I have never read before!).  I've already consumed The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins...it was excellent.  I have started reading Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, and so far I like it.  I'm not a huge fan of self-help or nonfiction books in general, but I thought this one might be helpful for me as I struggle with anxiety and worry.  It's a book about becoming content with your life despite the circumstances, and really living out Philippians 4.  I've also gotten a budgeting/finance book from Money Saving Mom, and I'm definitely looking forward to reading it as I'm such a huge fan of her blog.  And, lastly, I ordered a parenting book called Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic, as it sounded like something I needed to read =).

Also, I got a sewing machine for Christmas and plan on learning how to use it...we'll see how that goes.  I'm thinking Billy will have to be my teacher (yes, he knows how to use one...I do not...) and I've pinned a few easy sewing projects on Pinterest that I would like to do.  The first is a DIY taggie blanket that seems very simple and easy to do...plus, it's for Piper, and she couldn't care less how bad my sewing skills are =).  The second one is another baby craft, DIY stuffed animals, that looks very easy.  If I can accomplish these simple sewing crafts, I think I'll gain a little more confidence to really get into sewing.  I'll share my experiences on here (with pictures, of course).

And I guess that's it from me!

Quiet Time Boxes

Well it's been FOREVER since I updated...sorry about that to my family members!  I guess I ran out of things to write about, and decided to take a break.  However, I did this little project, and thought it might be interesting to someone, so here we go!

I saw the idea for quiet time boxes months ago, and bookmarked the page for later.  I thought, "Someday I will do this!" and didn't really think Ellie was old enough at that time.  I was reminded of this fun idea through another blog (if you're interested in getting ideas, click here) about a week ago, and thought maybe Ellie was old enough to give it a try.  Basically, the concept behind the quiet time box is to provide your child with age-appropriate activities that serve three purposes:

1. Challenge/develop your child's skills (motor, reading, linguistic, spatial, etc.)
2. Keep your child quietly occupied during independent play/learning time
3. Give parents a block of time to accomplish tasks (chores, work, relaxation, etc.)

I wasn't quite sure how these would go over with Ellie, since she's only 14 months old and most of the examples I found online were for ages 2-4, but I decided to try it anyway.  My goal through this process was to create 5 quiet time boxes for Ellie (one for each weekday) with at least one of each of the following components:

1. a board book
2. a fine motor skills activity (something requiring her to use her hands and fingers)
3. a fun object (stuffed animal, interesting object, etc.)

My first task was to go through our house and look for toys and objects that I could use.  My first thought was to look in the attic, since I have a lot of teaching supplies up there.  I found A TON of play food (the kind that can be "cut" in half--attached with velcro), as well as a few small stuffed animals she had never seen before.  I also pulled out a few small board books that would fit nicely inside the boxes.


Then, I went out in search of my boxes.  I thought about buying plastic storage boxes, but found the colorful photo boxes (like shoe boxes) at A.C. Moore on sale, so I ended up  buying 5 of those in different colors.


I then went to Walmart in search of a few specific items, like toy blocks, and found a couple of other interesting items there.  After Walmart, I went to the Dollar Store and found everything else I needed.  These were all very inexpensive...I really could have made these boxes out of toys and materials we already had at home, but wanted to give her objects she had never seen before (since she gets kind of burned out on toys after a while).


And then I compiled my boxes!  Of course, I have to include pictures...

Monday's box includes the play food, a board book, and a small stuffed bear that can be pulled out of the trick or treat bag.  (I love that the toy food comes with a small cutting board and plastic knife!)

Tuesday's box includes rubber blocks, another board book (with a finger puppet!), a beanie baby cat, and a plastic elephant that makes a clicking sound when you twist the legs and head.

Wednesday's box includes four mini-maracas, a board book, "I Spy" bottle (visit I Can Teach My Child for directions), and soft spider that screams when you press it.  I never got around to getting an actual photo of the box's contents, but this is a picture of her playing with it during quiet time, so you get the idea.

Thursday's box includes mini gardening tools, a board book, silicone pancake shapers, stuffed squirrel toy, and an empty plastic container.

Friday's box includes a board book, silicone pot gripper (I was thinking this might help her with "pinching" skills), a plastic tambourine, and a basting brush.  This box seems a little empty to me, but I figured I would add and take away objects as we get/find new, interesting things.

I have to say, I think these boxes have been great so far.  The first day I gave her one, she played quietly by herself in her room (with the baby gate up) for 30 minutes.  If I gave it to her first thing in the morning after breakfast, she would probably play for 45 minutes to an hour by herself, but I like to spend time with her in the morning, so we do the quiet time in the late morning or early afternoon.  I'm still working out a set time to have her quiet time.  The point is, she enjoyed it and I was able to get a few things done!

Here are a few more pictures I thought you might enjoy!

 Afternoon quiet time with the Wednesday box...she loves those maracas!

 Ellie's favorite hobby...pulling down all of her board books and "reading" to herself.

 Snack time!  Here, she's wearing her current favorite "accessory"...a lettuce catcher Tupperware bowl.

Until next time!

~Kristen 

Birthday Preparations...

So my sweet little Ellie will be turning one in 3 weeks.  This is so cliche, but it's SO hard to believe that she's been a part of our lives for a whole year.  I can't even remember what it was like to not have a little one in our home.  And by the way....why did I think it was so hard to get things done around the house before she was born?  I can't believe I actually had a hard time getting the chores done...other than school, I didn't have any responsibilities.  I think I was just lazy, because I know plenty of people without kids who are very productive....guess I'm just not in that category. =)

Anyway, so I've been planning and preparing for her birthday.  I'm not really the type of person to get all excited about birthdays, nor do I really enjoy parties.  But for my little girl, I have to give her the opportunity to actually enjoy birthday parties....so I'm sucking it up and throwing her a party.  I sent the invitations out yesterday, and I've already bought a few decorating items.  I'm trying my hand at making the decorations (based on a friend's previous success with it), so we'll see how they turn out.  I'm not very good at crafty things, so we'll just have to wait and see.

I've also already gotten her birthday presents and wrapped them, so that's done.  And I did a trial run of a cupcake recipe last night, which turned out pretty great!  I was initially planning on making chocolate cupcakes, but I saw this recipe for banana cupcakes with chocolate frosting in the August issue of All You magazine and thought they sounded pretty yummy.

The recipe was fairly simple to follow, and they definitely turned out to be very good.  The cupcake was more like a muffin, but I LOVE banana muffins so I wasn't going to complain.  And the frosting was VERY sweet, maybe too sweet for me, but I think with less powdered sugar or more chocolate it would've been better.  Overall, they were a big success (anything that Billy says is "amazing" passes my test) and we may be including them in the birthday festivities.  I still want to try a chocolate cupcake recipe, though.  I've heard that Hershey's has a good one, and I also found this one online that seems easy enough.  If anyone has a suggestion, I'd love to know!

Vacation

Well it's definitely been a while since my last post.  Sometimes I feel like I run out of things to say, so I don't just want to write a blog post for the sake of blogging.  I really like to use this as a way to keep in touch with family and friends, but I don't want to waste anyone's time by talking about the boring day-to-day stuff.  Fortunately, we've been pretty busy recently, so I have lots to talk about!

First, Billy and I took an anniversary vacation to Washington, D.C.  We've been married 4 years...I can't believe how the time has flown!  A lot has changed in just a few years...some of it has been wonderful, and some of it hasn't been so good, but we are so blessed to have each other to lean on.  I really don't deserve Billy...he is so kind-hearted and gentle.  I really couldn't ask for a more respectful and devoted husband.

So anyway, back to our trip...we had a great time.  The weekend flew by, but it was great to get out of town and have some time to ourselves.  We got to sleep in, which was AMAZING, and we also visited some fun places and went to some great restaurants.  We saw the Lincoln Memorial, went to the top of the Washington Monument, visited the National Zoo, and checked out the Udvar-Hazy Air and Space Museum.  We ate out at two VERY fancy restaurants, which was new and different for both of us.  They were the kind of places that offered you options when you order water, like filtered, iced, or sparkling water.  One restaurant served us dessert with gold leafing on top....hilarious.  It was so fun, though.  Here are a few pictures... 

At the National Zoo

Going to our fancy dinner...this was in the hotel before we left

Stopping by the White House...very early in the morning!

Visiting the Lincoln Memorial...I had never been before!

 We also had a great hotel.  We stayed at The Madison, which was within walking distance from the National Mall and the White House.  It was a swanky hotel, with valet parking and all sorts of amenities.  My favorite was the Keurig machine in our room, with complementary tea and coffee!  Because we were in downtown D.C., we literally walked everywhere except to dinner.  I think we walked about 10 miles on our last day there, because of some poor planning on our part.  It's kind of a long story....

Four years ago, we visited D.C. for the day to celebrate Billy's birthday.  We visited the museums and saw some of the sights, and decided to go to the Washington Monument.  By the time we got there, the ticket booth had closed and they had stopped doing tours, and Billy was kinda bummed.  I promised that the next time we were in D.C., we would definitely make it a priority to go up in the monument.  So this trip, we decided to do it.  On Saturday, we walked over to the monument (about a mile from our hotel) but they had already given away all of the tickets for the day.  We were told that they sell out really fast, so we should get there at 8:00 the next morning.  So, Sunday morning, we got up at 6:45 and walked to the monument again.  We got there at about 7:45 (after stopping for coffee on the way), and there were already about 100 people waiting in line for tickets...and the booth didn't open until 8:30.  After waiting in a long line (and the drizzling rain), we finally got our tickets.  They were for the 11:00 tour that morning.  So we killed some time by going to the Lincoln Memorial before heading back to our hotel to shower, pack, and check out.  We checked out of our hotel, got our car from valet parking, and then started driving toward the monument.  That day, D.C. was hosting a triathlon, so they had blocked off all the streets in the National Mall area, so you couldn't get within a mile of the monument.  We drove around in circles forever before finding a parking spot on the street, and ended up walking almost 2 miles to the monument...in less than 15 minutes.  We raced like crazy to get there for our 11:00 tour, only to find out that it doesn't matter what time you show up, as long as you have a ticket.  So we got all out of breath and sweaty for nothing!  But we finally went in the monument.... =)

Because of all the walking in D.C., I got a boost in my weight loss this past week.  Typically, I've been losing about a pound a week on Weight Watchers.  Last week, I lost 3 pounds, which brought me down to my second weight goal of 143...so I've lost 16 pounds in a little less than 2 months!  I'm very happy with where I am right now, but I'm still going to try to lose a little more just to see where I can go with it.  But if I don't lose any more, I'm not going to complain...I'm very happy with where I am because I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight (actually, a little lower than that!).  Anyway, I'm thankful for Weight Watchers and how much it has influenced and changed my eating habits.  

That's all from me for now!

-Kristen

Bikram Yoga

I promised that if I tried it, I would write about Bikram yoga on here, so here it is!  

I tried it for the first time on Monday night.  There were some things that were expected, and others were unexpected.  First, I knew I would encounter a few...um..."unique individuals."  For example, there was one lady who didn't shave her legs...at all.  And the instructor (a guy) was basically wearing a Speedo, and nothing else.  A bit awkward....

I also thought I was prepared for the heat....I was SO wrong.  105 degrees is a lot hotter than you think, and when you factor in the humidity, it was insanely stifling in the room.  When I arrived, the instructor told me (since I was a first timer) that I only had to do two things: breathe and stay in the room.  He said if I needed to throw up, that I should leave the room, but otherwise I should try to stay.  I thought, "Hmm...that's interesting...can't be THAT bad."  Ha!


The lady next to me was so sweet.  She asked if anyone had ever told me about Bikram yoga before, and I told her no, that I had just read about it and decided to try it out.  She gave me "The Warning":  "Your first few times are horrible...you feel like it's the worst thing on Earth...then it gets better!"  I wasn't comforted by that at all, although I prepared myself for the worst, so that I wouldn't be surprised.  In hindsight, I'm really glad she warned me, because it made it so much easier for me to get through the class!


In this class, you practice deep breathing, stretching, and balancing poses for an hour and a half.  Some things were done standing, others sitting, and some lying down.  The instructor gives explicit instructions on how to do everything, and you can always watch the person in front of you if you're unsure.


Even though I had been warned, and the instructor told me not to push myself to do any of the poses, I had to give it a try.  I mean, I came to get a workout, right?


I gave everything a try.  Some things were easy for me, like balancing and stretching, and others were too difficult.  The things that were harder for me were the poses that required you to twist and contort your body and then balance.  I'm not coordinated enough to do that quite yet.  This is an example of one that was too advanced for me:

I am surprised to say that I actually enjoyed it!  I mean, the sweating I can do without....picture jumping into a pool fully dressed, and then trying to workout immediately afterward.  That's how sweaty I was.  It was really fun though, and wonderfully quiet.  After being at home all day with a loud and talkative baby, it was nice to just be in a quiet place without a lot of noise.


I know there are a lot of people out there who believe Christians shouldn't participate in yoga.  And I think that's fine if you believe that, and I'm certainly not out to convert anyone or convince them otherwise.  I think a lot depends on how the class is taught and who you participate with.  I would suggest to any Christians who want to try yoga to pray about it first, and just make sure that they have a discerning heart about it.  


For me, I prayed about it before deciding to try it, to make sure that I wasn't being disobedient to God in any way by going.  I also talked to Billy about it and got his opinion.  While I was in the class, I prayed that God would help me to focus on Him and just use that time to get some exercise and try something new.  And afterward, I praised God that He created my body, and that He made me stronger than I thought I was...that He enabled me to make it through the class without passing out or throwing up!  =)


I have to say that Bikram Yoga of Lynchburg is great!  There were no spiritual implications made at all, and we weren't even told to meditate or center ourselves or any of that weird, mystical stuff we normally associate with yoga.  It was a purely physical exercise class.  Now, of course, people can make yoga into a form of worship (Christian or otherwise), but that can be done with just about anything, I think.


Anyway, I really enjoyed it and I think I'll be going back (this week, anyway).  They offer a new student rate, where you pay $20 and you get a week of unlimited sessions.  After that, it gets a bit pricey, so I'm not sure yet if I'll be continuing with it after my first week or not.  It was a good experience, and I'm glad I did it!

Ready for a New Adventure....

Summer is here, and with it I have a lot of time on my hands.  Granted, I spend most of that time caring for Ellie, and whatever is leftover is used up by reading, surfing the Internet for interesting blogs, and watching my Harry Potter marathon (the library is great for borrowing DVDs for free!).  I'm feeling a little antsy today, so writing will probably help get it out of my system.

Billy just finished a motorcycle class this weekend and got his motorcycle driver's license, so now he's looking to buy a motorcycle.  It will be a good way for us to cut down on the amount of money we're spending on gas (compare 10 mpg in his truck to 40+ mpg on a motorcycle!).  We've discussed it extensively, and we've decided that this would be better for our family.  I'll still have my Jeep, which we drive all the time anyway if we go anywhere as a family, so the motorcycle would be primarily used for going to and from school/work (in the future).  When the weather is bad or too cold, either I can take Billy to school or he can just take my car and I'll be home bound for the day, which isn't a big deal.  There are so many families out there who only have one vehicle, and they do just fine.  It's just another step we're taking to try to streamline our lives and cut down on the amount of money we're spending.

In other news, Ellie started crawling a little over a week ago, and now she's all over the place.  She is such a mischief-maker (I guess most babies are), and she's getting into everything.  I seriously can't take my eyes off her anymore, because I'll turn away for a moment, and she'll be on the opposite side of the room pulling books off the bookcase, or playing with the cords around the computer.  I can't believe how quickly she is growing up...it's hard to imagine that she'll be a year old in about 2 months!

I'm still doing well with Weight Watchers.  I'm losing about a pound a week, which is normal once you get into your stride.  I am looking for ways to boost my weight loss though, through exercise.  I've been walking at the park once or twice a week, but it's not really enough for me.  Plus, I don't like going by myself because I get bored, so there's not much motivation to go.  I've looked into joining the gym at Liberty for the summer (alumni can join during the summer for a decent rate), but I would want to take advantage of an aerobics class of some kind, and they don't have their class schedule posted online, so I'm not sure what they're offering this summer.  I did find that Lynchburg has a Bikram yoga studio (Bikram Yoga of Lynchburg), so I'm thinking about trying that this week.  It's the "heat yoga," so the temperature is set at 105 degrees (extremely hot, in my opinion!), but I'm willing to give it a try.

For me, exercise works best when I'm in a classroom setting.  I need the accountability in order to work harder, and I also feel the need to prove myself.  It's what motivates me.  If I work out at home, or even at the gym by myself, I get bored or I don't push myself to the limit.  I just do what gets me by.  But when I'm in a class, I feel the need to do better.  I guess it's the inner student in me.  I'm a perfectionist, so I try to push myself further and work harder than I would if I were alone.  I guess I'm extrinsically motivated....I'm not one of those good students who works hard just for the joy of working hard!  A classroom gives me purpose, and so I'm hoping I can find something that will work for me.  After I try the Bikram yoga, I'll make sure to write about it on here.

As I mentioned earlier, I've been feeling a little restless today.  We're at the 6 month mark for Billy's schooling, and only 6 more months to go.  It's hard to believe he's halfway done with his aircraft mechanic's license program!  We've started talking about where to go/what to do once he finishes in December, and it's made me anxious to move forward.  It's hard being patient, sometimes, when you feel like you're in this "transition" phase of adulthood.  You're technically an adult, and you live like an adult (pay your own bills, live on your own, etc.), but you don't have a career.  We've been in this phase for 5 years now.  First, I was in college, and Billy worked full time to support me through my education.  We always planned that I would be teaching after graduation, but having a baby changed that (for the better, in my opinion!).  I feel like I'm fulfilling my calling, and Billy is certainly working toward his calling, but we're just not there yet.  

I'm ready to move, both figuratively and literally.  I'm ready to move forward with our lives and get out of this transition phase into adulthood.  Billy is ready to work, and to do what he loves.  And I'm ready to see my husband happy with his work, and to be fulfilled by it.  No one can deny the fact that there is some aspect of work that fulfills us, if it's something we love to do.  I think it's especially the case for men...and definitely true for Billy.  I'm also ready to move...to physically relocate.  It's something we've been thinking about for years, and once he gets his certification, it will be a very real thing.  Aviation mechanics aren't in high demand around here, so we'll be looking elsewhere.  I'm just ready to do this...to take the leap.  

However, I also know that this transition time has a purpose, and we're spending this time preparing, both mentally and physically, for the changes that will happen in the future.  We're slowly condensing our possessions, and trying to get rid of everything that's not absolutely necessary.  We're also trying to prepare our house and finish all of the big projects so we can put it on the market.  Selling our house is my biggest worry, aside from Billy finding a job, and it's something we're in prayer about constantly.  We're just trusting that God's purpose for our family will be fulfilled, meaning that all aspects of it will work out in one way or another.

Well, I feel loads better with that off my chest.  Sorry this post is so long, but it does me good to write a marathon post rather than short little sprints.  Honestly, if no one reads this it wouldn't change anything for me....I just feel better getting words on paper (or on screen, rather...).

-Kristen