Complaining

So for 4 days, Ellie has been complaining about the same thing, over and over.  "I don't feel good.  I'm sick."  Normally I would be very compassionate about this and do what I could to make her feel better...but I can't find anything wrong with her.  Usually if she complains of some physical ailment we suggest going to the bathroom, burping, eating or drinking something, laying down with a blanket, etc.  And 9 times out of 10 she's happy to try all of those things and then magically she feels better.  Not the case this week.  I have suggested anything and everything I can think of to "make her feel better" and she rejects all of them and then goes about her merry way playing, running, singing, whatever.  She certainly doesn't act sick.  Once she even said, "I have a headache."  So I said, "I'm sorry you have a headache.  Can you point to where it hurts?"  She pointed to her stomach.  Hmmm...starting to think she isn't actually sick.  She complains during breakfast, while we're sitting in the car, or whenever she seems to get bored.  I ask her what she wants (thinking maybe she's fishing for some snuggling or medicine) and she doesn't want anything, it's like she just wants to complain and announce to anyone around her that she is sick.  I really think it comes down to one thing: attention.

This morning I got to my breaking point with it.  I wanted to lash out and be like, "STOP COMPLAINING!!!"  I didn't.  But I really, really wanted to.  And then, just as the urge to yell or fuss at her was unbearable and I was about to give in, I realized something.  I've been doing the same thing....all week long.  Not complaining about "not feeling good," but complaining about how much I have to do.  How stressed out I am.  How I need to clean this room.  How I need to catch up on all of the dishes and laundry.  How I don't feel like cooking dinner.  How I'm just so tired.  And it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am modeling a whiny, complaining behavior to my daughter and she's going along with it by complaining about the only thing she can think of to say:  "I don't feel good."

I feel so embarrassed.  I have a home.  Plenty of food.  My healthy little family.  Heat in my house.  The ability to go visit with other family members next week for Christmas.  Yes, there are stressful things going on in our family right now, but nothing that compares to having our needs (and so many of our wants) met.  And yet I sound so ungrateful when I replay my own words.

Isn't it amazing what our little ones can show us about ourselves?

Lord, change me.  Forgive me for my bad attitude and incessant complaining.  Thank you for blessing me and my family with so much.  Help me to remember what my life is about instead of focusing on what I think I lack.  Help me be a good role model to my children.