Ellie's Birth Story (In Honor of Birthday Week!)

Ellie is turning two on Saturday...I just can't believe it! I know that is so cliche to say, but it's so true. This time two years ago I was a gigantic swollen blimp of a woman, thinking I still had 4 weeks until my baby would be here. I had just had my 36 week checkup with elevated blood pressure, and even after laying on the table at my OBGYN's office for half an hour it was still elevated. I was told to go home and rest, and a week later my baby came! I thought I would share her birth story here in honor of her birthday week. I think almost everyone who reads this blog knows her birth story, but I love reading through it and retelling it because it demonstrates God's glory so beautifully. So here it is!  It's pretty long so be prepared =).

Our sweet little Ellie Katherine was born on Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 at 5:02 am via c-section. She was 4 pounds, 4 ounces, and 16 and 1/2 inches long and was born at 37 weeks gestation. Her birth was a total whirlwind, but I'll start with what was happening a week before she was born. I went for my 36 week checkup, as I mentioned above, and I had elevated blood pressure and protein in my urine (like you need to know that haha!). I was also swollen beyond recognition. All 3 of these symptoms are characteristic of preeclampsia, so just keep that in mind. Anyway, Ellie's heartbeat was good and my belly measured normal, so the doctor had me lay down for about half an hour and then came back and did my blood pressure again. It had lowered slightly, but was still considered above normal. I was advised to just rest at home and to not do too much (which is so hard at the very end of a pregnancy when you're trying to get everything done!). I was a little freaked out, and I remember asking my doctor if I had preeclampsia because I had all three symptoms, and she just said, "No, you just need to go home and relax." So that's what I *tried* to do. 

The next day, I was feeling pretty crummy. Nauseous, light-headed, extremely swollen. I went to Kroger and took my blood pressure on one of their machines in the pharmacy and it was high, like 160/90. I called my OBGYN's office and asked to speak to a nurse, told her what I was feeling and that my bp seemed high, and she talks to the doctor (not my doctor, since she was on-call at the hospital that day). They tell me I just need to rest and relax at home, that it's not a big deal, and that the bp machines at stores aren't accurate anyway. Meanwhile, my mom is freaking out saying I have preeclampsia, but I tell her that the doctor says I'm fine so I just go on with my day. 

 Fast forward to August 17th. It was our nephew's birthday, so we drove to Roanoke for his birthday party. I remember feeling kinda icky that night, just really really hot and kinda out of breath all night. We were at Thunder Valley, which is like a cooler version of Chuck E Cheese, with go-carts and play areas and video games, so I figured it was just stuffy in there and that was why I didn't feel good. We stopped by my grandparents' house after the party, and got home pretty late. I went straight to bed because I was totally worn out. 

I woke up around 3 or 3:30 am and went to pee (go figure!). After using the bathroom I noticed a terrible pain in my abdomen, like someone had punched me in the gut, so I grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the couch just trying to relax and hoping it would go away. I then had some extreme nausea and thought I was going to throw up, so I stood over the toilet for a minute and realized the pain was not going away. I woke Billy up and explained that I felt horrible and then sat on the bathroom floor leaning over the toilet just waiting to throw up. Billy brought the birthing ball in the bathroom for me to lean on, which I leaned on for a few minutes trying to get the pain to go away. I knew I wasn't in labor because the pain wasn't coming in waves, it was just constant discomfort that was making it hard for me to breathe. After a couple of minutes of watching me laying on the bathroom floor with no relief, Billy suggested we go to the hospital. I agreed, got dressed, and we ran out the door. We made it maybe a mile or two in the car and then I told Billy to pull over and call 911 because I was having trouble breathing. We went into a church parking lot and waited for the ambulance to arrive. I remember sitting in the car just wondering what was wrong with me and why the pain wouldn't go away. I kept asking Billy where the ambulance was, and I remember curling in a ball in the front seat of the car because I didn't know what to do. The ambulance arrived and loaded me up, and that's the last thing I remember.  

According to Billy, we made it to the hospital, I got changed into a gown, and I was still complaining about the pain and having trouble breathing. As the hospital staff was assessing me, I sat up on the bed and told them I couldn't see, and then I started seizing. The staff then realized that I had eclampsia, which is preeclampsia that has gone undiagnosed to the point of seizures. Most of the time you hear of preeclampsia, which is still a serious problem but can either be managed or at least treated by delivering the baby in less of an emergency-like situation. For me, they immediately sent me in to have a C-section. Again, I don't remember any of this. 

 I had intrauterine growth restriction because of my high blood pressure, which is the reason she was only 4 pounds at 37 weeks gestation, which is considered full term. She was sent straight to the NICU for evaluation, but other than being really small she was very healthy. She never needed respiratory support, and she only had a feeding tube because it was protocol, which she promptly ripped out haha. Because I was placed under general anesthesia for the C-section I was completely out for her delivery and I was very groggy in recovery on Wednesday. I don't remember much of anything, although Billy said I was in a lot of pain and was pulling out my IVs and yelling a lot. I do remember being very uncomfortable and yelling at my nurses to help me sit up, which was obviously impossible since I had just had abdominal surgery, but it's hard to reason with a drugged up crazy lady when she has no idea what's going on. I also remember talking to Billy in my recovery room, and him explaining that Ellie had been born and that she was okay. 

Thursday, things took a turn for the worse. I was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome, which stands for hemolytic anemia (breakdown of red blood cells), elevated liver enzymes (basically means liver damage, which then secretes liver enzymes into the bloodstream), and low platelets (which is an issue because this would affect blood clotting...and I just had surgery...so yeah, that's bad haha).  I was transferred from Virginia Baptist Hospital to Lynchburg General because the situation was pretty serious and they could treat me better in the other hospital.  I was still so out of it that I was unaware of what was happening and had no idea what HELLP syndrome was.  They gave me 4 blood transfusions and a bag of platelets in order to fix some of the damage caused by HELLP.  Later, I was told that HELLP syndrome is pretty rare and that the doctors at Lynchburg General see maybe 1 or 2 cases a year and that I was the first case they had seen in 2010.

I remember waking up for brief periods of time in the hospital, mostly to say hello to the many visitors I had and to explain to the nurses and doctors how I was feeling.  I'm pretty sure that most of my visitors in those first couple of days cried when they saw me.  I was a giant yellow blob (yellow because I was jaundiced from the liver issues) and still extremely swollen.  I was on a respirator for a while so I didn't look so great.  No new-mommy glow for me!  I was completely bed-ridden and didn't have my hair brushed or washed in 6 days.  Yes...6 days.  It was awful lol.

On top of all the other symptoms and issues I was having, my vision was really messed up.  I normally have 20/20 vision, but while I was in the hospital everything was very blurry and I was seeing double.  The doctors thought it was due to the magnesium sulfate I was given (which was supposed to help prevent more seizures).  Let me tell you, that stuff makes you crazy.  It depresses the central nervous system, which makes using normal muscles almost impossible.  I couldn't feed myself, lift my arms, put a sock on my foot, bend my legs...you get the picture.  It also made me very tired, to the point where nothing in the world mattered.  I don't recall asking about Ellie once during all of that.  My speech was slurred and I was hallucinating quite a bit.  I remember telling everyone I saw pigs and mammogram images on the walls (don't ask me where the mammogram thing came from, but I swear that's what I saw), and I kept asking who was standing next to me...turned out, it was my IV pole.  The doctors did a CT scan just to make sure I didn't have any brain damage from the seizure; thankfully, everything came back normal.

On Saturday, the doctors decided I was out of the woods and that I could be moved back to Virginia Baptist to the ICU.  At the time, I didn't understand the significance of the move; to me, I was going from one hospital to the other and still felt terrible.  However, the transfer was extremely significant.  For one thing, it meant that I was not going to die; although that sounds dramatic, HELLP syndrome is really serious and can be fatal if not dealt with in time.  The other reason for the importance of the transfer was that it meant that I could be at the same hospital as Ellie; the family wouldn't have to travel back and forth between hospitals and I could maybe see Ellie for the first time.  That night after the transfer, the nurses put me in a wheelchair, gave me an oxygen tank and rolled me down to NICU so I could see my baby for the first time; she was four days old.  I actually got to hold her, which was so surreal.  It's a strange thing to wake up and be told you had a baby, especially when you weren't planning on having her for a few more weeks.  She was so tiny, but totally precious.  It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, though.  I was still pretty messed up...when the nurse asked if I was ready to hold Ellie, I said, "I guess."  Who says that about their own baby?!  To this day, that is one of the most depressing things about her whole birth experience, that I wasn't excited or really even interested in seeing and holding my baby.  I really, really regret that.

The next day, Sunday, was really rough.  Saturday night, I felt like I barely slept; it seemed that as soon as I fell asleep, a nurse would wake me up to draw blood or take my vitals.  I remember at one point there were several nurses in my room telling me I needed to breathe, and I'm like, "Ummm I am breathing," and they're like, "No, you need to breathe deeper."  It was very confusing to me, but I think my oxygen saturation levels were getting really low and that's what that whole discussion was about.  I had borderline pneumonia on top of the oxygen issues, so they had me on oxygen all the time and also doing breathing treatments and exercises.  So on top of being woken up for bloodwork, vitals, and breathing issues, they were also waking me up to pump every three hours.  Even through all of this, I still tried to pump so that I could eventually breastfeed Ellie.  And I have to thank Billy for that, because my mind was not in a place where I could advocate for myself or for Ellie, but he made sure that every nurse knew that I wanted to breastfeed and that I better have a breast pump available.  Isn't he the most loving husband and father?  Thinking about that just brings a smile to my face.

So long story short, I didn't sleep well at all that night.  I was miserable and in a lot of pain, and at one point I prayed in the middle of the night for God to just let me die because I felt so terrible.  I know that sounds really dramatic, but I'm just being honest here.  I was so angry about everything that happened, that I was so sick and in so much pain, and that I couldn't be a normal mom and just hold and enjoy my new baby.  All I wanted to do was go home.  I hurt all over and I had nurses poking me and making me do painful things constantly, and I was just sick of it all.  I think that night was when I finally started to realize what had happened, and I didn't feel so complacent and confused anymore.  I was angry, depressed, and tired.

So Sunday didn't start off too great.  I was told that I couldn't see Ellie that day because I was developing pneumonia, so that put me in a pretty bad mood to begin with.  I had no appetite and refused to eat, and didn't want any visitors in my room except Billy.  He knew that I was starting to go downhill emotionally, so he made sure that I had time to sleep that afternoon and told everyone that I just needed to rest.  He also asked everyone to pray for me...and man, they seriously did.  We had our family and friends praying for me, who then asked their churches to pray for me, we had folks at the LifeWay headquarters in Nashville praying (Billy worked for LifeWay at the time of Ellie's birth and the story got passed on to them)...so many people praying for us.  The power of prayer is so real, because that evening I felt a complete turnaround.  The nurses brought in a reclining chair for me to sit in, which was the first time I had sat up in 5 days.  My Poppaw cooked his famous potatoes for me (seriously, they're my favorite food) and brought them up from Roanoke.  I had friends and family sit with me and just talk like normal people, and I finally felt human for the first time since Ellie was born.

I finally had hope that things were going to get better.  I really and truly believe that the prayers lifted up by the church (not a church, but the body of Christ) were heard by God and He healed me.  I'm not usually the type of person to get all into the "miraculous healing" stuff, but I mean, I almost died.  And then I got better in less than 24 hours.  Yes, I still had a long way to go.  But my oxygen levels started improving, my demeanor was much more positive, I was able to sit up and feed myself, and the pneumonia was going away.  To me, that's a miracle.  It was through all of this that I realized that God could be glorified through my situation and that my recovery could show just how powerful He is.

Monday, I woke up and felt amazing.  I was wide awake, and I was hungry.  I ate food all by myself without anyone telling me to eat or helping me.  My hospitalist came in and checked my oxygen and lungs and noticed that the pneumonia was gone and I was able to keep my oxygen at 98% or higher on my own, whereas before I was in the 80s.  He took me off oxygen (so that was the first time in 6 days that I had been without it) and said I could move to a private room in the Mother-Baby unit that day (this whole time I had been in the ICU).  I was so excited and I immediately called Billy to tell him to come to the hospital.  Once I got into my own room, I was able to take a shower (finally!!!) and this was really the first time in 6 days that I had stood up on my own and walked.  I was even able to visit Ellie again, and this time I had a smile on my face and was excited to really look at her and get to know her.

Tuesday I was visited by my hospitalist again, and he thought I had improved so much that I could be released that day.  I was so surprised to be going home, since my nurses and other doctors kept telling me that I would have to stay until the end of the week.  But I was so ready to get out of there!  They set me up with an opthamologist to check out my vision situation since it was still pretty bad, and he determined that I had central serrous retinopathy, which means that I had a leak in my retina which caused the blurred vision (the leak was most likely caused by my blood pressure getting so high and having a seizure).  My vision was 20/50 in that eye, but praise God, it healed on its own and didn't require surgery.

Through this whole ordeal, Billy was wonderful.  Every time I saw him, he was calm and optimistic; he kept telling me that I was going to get better soon and that I would be home before I knew it.  He even promised to take me to Cracker Barrel when I was released (not sure why, but I had this crazy craving for pancakes from Cracker Barrel while I was in the hospital haha).  He was there for me when I was hideous, sick, depressed, vomiting, jaundiced...all of it.  It really gives you a perspective on the whole "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" promise when you get married.  He never for a minute showed how difficult it must have been for him to have to bear not only the medical decisions for our daughter, but for me as well.  He was at the hospital constantly and tried his very best to spend as much time with both me and Ellie as he could (which must have been hard, considering at one point we were in separate hospitals).  He spent time with our daughter when I couldn't be there myself; he bonded with her before I even knew her.  He made sure that I was able to pump, had video of Ellie on the TV in my room, and taped a picture of her on my hospital bed so that I would know what she looked like before I met her.  It makes me cry to think of how amazing he was.  He probably won't read this...but, Billy, you are amazing.  I love you so much.  Thank you for everything you did for me and for Ellie.  Thank you for being so strong and confident, and for loving me and honoring your promise that you made on our wedding day.  Thank you for showing me what sacrificial love looks like.  You are wonderful.

Our baby girl came home after being in the NICU for 10 days.  She was perfectly healthy, strong, spunky, and feisty.  Despite all the craziness surrounding her birth, she had no complications.  Honestly, the only thing that would indicate the circumstances of her birth was her size.  Otherwise, she was (and still is) the most normal, perfect baby.

A verse that really encouraged me after I came home from the hospital was Psalm 50:15, which says, "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me."  God heard our prayers and rescued me.  I know I can never come close to displaying God's glory and power, but I want Ellie's birth story to always be a testament to His faithfulness.  He is the reason for everything we do.  He's the reason that we survived.  God is real, powerful, perfect, loving, and just.  I know He gave me this experience for His purpose, and I am honored and humbled that he chose me and Ellie to tell just a little bit about how amazing He is.